Ok- so I am exactly 4 weeks out today from my first show of the season. It is to be the npc Big sky championships in Missoula Montana. Yikes- I am nervous and excited and I have been an emotional wreck this last week. I am a human biology major going to school full time and working and working out 2 times a day. Well- I am not superwoman by any means and having all of this on a person's plate is so stressful. I have decided to drop 2 of the classes I am taking because I just cannot do everything. My reasonings for this are:
1) This is a lifestyle choice for me- I enjoy working out- that is "ME" time and for me this is important. Yes I do bikini competitions, and yes they are expensive- but this is a part of my lifestyle now and I wouldn't change it to go back to the way I was.
2) Human Biology major= pre medicine major. Even though I have no intentions of going to medical school. Basically in a nutshell. Due to the fact I am a senior- I am also taking the more upper level and more difficult classes that take a lot of effort to even pass, let alone get an A or a B. The classes are competitive - and let's face it I am smart - but I have never had a science/math mind. It is always something that I have struggled at. So for me to be this kind of major is huge even for me to have gotten this far- but graduating with a 2.5 doesn't look that good and it doesn't exactly give me the edge that I need if I were to do something else later down the road educational wise. (I haven't really decided what I want to be yet when I grow up). My parents stopped supporting me a long time ago- so I have been going to school on my own, paying all of my own bills including car payment, rent, etc. So yes, I have to work while going to school. Most pre-med majors don't. They have plenty of support from parents- the kind of support that I don't have- so I have to make the best of what I have.
3) I have to work. I have to work to support the bills I have to pay and to support this new lifestyle of mine. Let's face it- I need to eat!! and Eating for me costs about $100/week. Now that is expensive- but it is healthy food. I will never feel guilty for buying food- especially when it's good food. Food that will prevent medical costs of being overweight and eating unhealthily if I were to choose not to live this way.
So there you have it my reasonings. Not only that but I have been going to school since 2007 (holy smokes) -so it has been a while that I have been going and I am more than ready to graduate but I need to graduate with a semi decent GPA too. So this is just how it has to be and I am fine with that. I am not quitting- I am just able to focus more on 2-3 classes at a time, instead of 4 or 5.
Now with that being said- back to my competition rant. I am getting excited for this competition because I did this competition last year and I happened to place 6th. I was upset with my placing (to actually place it is top 5- they get the trophies!)- But that doesn't mean I just throw everything in and quit. because ultimately it is about improving from last time. Have I improved? Well- I think so. It is hard to know for sure because you see yourself everyday and the weight that the scale reads is really just a number. I am weighing about the same that I did this time last year- but I feel as though I look different than I did then. So hopefully my hard work that I have been putting in the gym will pay off. I guess I shall see when the time comes- but I will keep in mind that as long as I improve from show to show- and in my mind then that is all I need.
I am also so excited to see the other girls that are on my team that will be there. Yes, I may be competing against a couple of them- but this sport is a different kind of sport in that you are being judged on how you look against how other girls look. And these other team members of mine are also on their own personal "Get Fit" journeys of their own too.
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